Disappointment

Posted: June 16, 2012 by evang4299 in Evan's Posts, jaw surgery

So as my last post said a date for surgery was finally set, well unfortunately I received a call from Dr. Cutting this past thursday telling me that he doesn’t think it will be possible to do the surgery on New Years Eve anymore. His reasons for this are that since it is New Years Eve a lot of people requested off and he is worried about being under staffed and if an emergency were to arise that he wouldn’t have the proper people or enough people to handle it. I understand his reasoning on why he would want to try and move the surgery date but I also cant help but think that the amount of people staffed on New Years Eve should have been one of the things he checked before telling me and having us set that day as the day of my surgery. He wants to try and set up a meeting this wednesday to discuss what to do and for me to also meet the surgeon who is replacing him. I kind of get the feeling that he doesn’t want to do my surgery anymore and for this new guy to do it. Dr. Cutting also talked about me having the second surgery I needed done first (fixing my deviated septum in my nose), but I was extremely confused when he told me this because in one of my first meetings with him he had originally told me that I needed to chose ether to do my jaw surgery or not because the jaw surgery changes features in my face and that if I did the other surgeries first it would throw them off when they did my jaw. I hate to sat it but I cant help but feel like this surgery just isn’t meant to be. It just seems like every time I think there is a calm in the storm and finally things are going to start getting better I end up hitting a HUGE wave that throws me back into this chaotic storm were nothing goes right. I know I should be in a way happy that problems are arising now instead of during the surgery or closer to it and that its better to deal with this now and make sure everything goes smoothly and right when the time is needed but I am just so extremely stressed. I am hoping that Genna will be able to come to this meeting on wednesday and she also really wants to be able to go but she already has plans for that morning that she cant miss. I am hoping to be able to have this meeting be set at a later time so maybe it will be possible for her to come, also my parents are going to come to this meeting, all we are waiting on is a call from Dr. Cutting giving us a time because he needed to check with the doctor who is replacing him because he also wants him to be at this meeting. I am just getting tired and stressed from all this changing in plans after they have told me something different. I just feel like I am in this dark tunnel and when they finally set a date it was like I saw a light at the end of the tunnel and that I wouldn’t have to worry about much more but after this it just seems like that light at the end of the tunnel ended up being a drawing on a brick wall like from the road runner and wile coyote and I just ran straight into it. I am just really lucky that Genna is there for me and listens to me, she makes it seem like everything will turn out just fine (which I know everyone will say). I just cant wait to spend the summer with her and just try and enjoy my self while I can. I know I can be a sappy guy at times but its always the little things I enjoy because I know after the surgery and while I am recovering since it will be a while before I can really do anything I know it will be the little things I miss the most.

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